


The road to Hell is paved with good intentions

by ShadowsintheClouds



Series: Stony Bingo 2020 [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Civil War Team Iron Man, Crushes, DO NOT COPY, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pro-Sokovia Accords, Rogue Avengers, Steve Rogers Cries, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers-centric, Steve fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26668936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowsintheClouds/pseuds/ShadowsintheClouds
Summary: Steve fucked up. He knew he did. He hated that his brain tended to dwell on that.STONY Bingo 2020 round 2. S5 The Road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Series: Stony Bingo 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903150
Comments: 1
Kudos: 108
Collections: Captain America/Iron Man Bingo





	The road to Hell is paved with good intentions

**Author's Note:**

> It’s angst time! It’s also time for another bingo fill. So, who’s ready? Prepare for angst and tears. Enjoy. -Shadows

Steve sat alone in the tiny motel room he and the others had procured just a few days ago. They were hiding out in a small town in Portugal for the week while they worked on a game plan on how to move forward with finding more HYDRA cells.

Steve sat alone just looking at the worn walls and dusty bedsheets with only his thoughts as company. Natasha, Sam, and Wanda were out getting some supplies and just generally getting some fresh air. Steve had elected to stay behind. He’d been feeling like absolute shit for weeks. Ever since he’d left Tony in Siberia and then left Bucky in Wakanda, he couldn’t help but dwell on all the decisions he’d made to bring him to this point. And boy were most of them mistakes.

Steve should have told Tony right away after he’d found out about his parents and HYDRA. He just… he wanted to protect Tony from being hurt. He’d seen and heard of all the shit that Tony had dealt with his entire life after he’d finally gotten to know him. He’d had good intentions. But you know what they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

And that’s where Steve was now. Hell. A Hell of his own making.

He should have been honest with Tony. He should have listened to him after Sokovia when he’d seemed so shaken after retrieving the sceptre. He should have checked in with Tony more often. He should have done better by his team because if he were half the leader the world made him out to be, they wouldn’t all be split up and hurting. Fuck he’d hurt Tony so badly by not telling him.

It didn’t help that T’Challa had given Steve a copy of the accords to read through just before they’d left Wakanda. If he’d have signed then he’d be able to make changes and negotiate. Now he and the others were wanted criminals because they hadn’t listened to the public. But Steve had just been looking out for Bucky… hadn’t he?

Fuck! He should have signed when Tony gave him the chance. If he had then Rhodey wouldn’t be paralyzed and Tony wouldn’t be in whatever shape he’d left him in.

And wasn’t Siberia another loaded can of worms. Steve should never have kept that secret from Tony. Tony, who was so sweet once you got to know him. Tony, who loved his Mama with everything he had. Tony, who only ever wanted his father’s approval. Tony, who had to grow up too quickly and face the world all on his own. Tony, who he’d betrayed and beaten instead of talking him down and helping him work through his feelings.

In the heat of the moment, Steve hadn’t thought about Tony and his feelings. All he’d thought about was protecting Bucky. Steve had lost it when Tony had blown off Bucky’s arm, but looking back at the moment he remembered that Bucky had gone for the arc reactor. That had almost certainly triggered Tony’s PTSD. Fuck, Steve had been so stupid in that bunker. He’d just… he’d just left Tony there, in a broken suit with a broken heart and sense of trust.

That god awful letter he’d sent a few days later form Wakanda had certainly not helped in mending the bridge that Steve burnt. Looking at what he’d written now, Steve had only made excuses for his behaviour. He’d never really apologized for his actions.

Fuck! How could he be so stupid?! 

At least he’d sent that phone out. Just in case Tony ever needed him, they’d have a way to communicate. Steve knew that Tony would really only se it if the world was ending. He hoped it would never come to that. Steve sent one message and one message only on that phone. Just as simple “I’m sorry”. He knew it wasn’t enough to make up for all the shit he’d done. But he needed to say something.

The only message he’d gotten back was “FUCK YOU! YOU HURT MY BROTHER! -Rhodes” 

He hadn’t opened the phone since even though it never left his side.

“Steve? You doing alright?” came a voice from the door. Natasha had returned from her portion of the errands. She had a few bags in her hands and was hovering over Steve. Steve shook his head and Natasha put her bags down so she could sit next to him. It was silent for a moment before Steve spoke up.

“I hurt him, Nat. I hurt him really bad.” Sighed Steve and Natasha knew instantly who he was talking about.

“We all did Steve. We… we should have done better by him. Even me. I should have never written that report about him. We should have been more honest with him. Tony deserves better then what we did.” 

Steve nodded and continued looking at the wall. The wallpaper was peeling, just like his relationship with Tony. After he’d gotten to know Tony he’d definitely developed a crush on the man. But he’d never done anything about it and now he knew he’d never have the chance to do anything. Yet another lost love in his long list of losses. His long list of eternal fuckups that would one day land him in hell. 

“I fucked up! Oh God, I Fucked Up!” cried Steve as he laid his head in his hands. His emotions that he normally kept so guarded spilling over. 

The tears started falling and they didn’t stop. Not for a long time. 


End file.
